No Time At All

By Harrison Zeiberg

Upon hearing the news of her own death announced on the radio, Jessica could not help
but be surprised. While she always knew that this was the manner in which her death would be
announced to the world, she had rather assumed that she herself would never hear it. After the
moment of her surprise passed, Jessica reminded herself, as she had many times before, that it
was best never to assume anything. Assuming always lead to disappointment.

Sitting at her desk in her disorganized office, Jessica took a moment to acknowledge the
fact that yes, while she was going to die, at least it could be worse. At least Jessica had avoided
the life that she had always feared she would live. A life full of idle gossip and passive
aggressive cliques, always brushing against power but never wielding it. It was no mistake that
Jessica found herself, in the years before her death, in the innermost circle of the Caesar. While
she could not claim to have ascended to the highest peak of power, she could claim to be
standing proudly next to it, waving the flag of her benefactor for all to see. Jessica had
accomplished this feat with patience and ruthlessness, the magnitude of which her rivals had
found impossible to overcome. In the world that Jessica lived in, the world of the ambitious, the
cowardly, and the dead, such a combination of attributes was the only way to advance.

If there was one thing in her life that Jessica could be sure of, it was that she did
everything within her power to live the life that she deserved. For a long time she had been
content in that.

And then everything changed.

And then the Caesar died.

It was not unexpected per se, everyone knew that man wasn’t immortal, something even
his most passionate adherents admitted. It was also no secret that the Caesar had never been in
the best of health. Still, until he passed, it seemed that the Caesar would never die. While the
Caesar’s rivals passed on, he had kept going, an ever present force in the lives of all. The fact
that the Caesar had ordered the death of many of his rivals, thus greatly diminishing their
chances to outlive him, did nothing to change the impressiveness of his own persistence.

In the end though, the Caesar did die, and with his death the world shifted off its axis.

When the Caesar left the mortal realm, Jessica could not help but be grateful. She was
still breathing. She was still alive. She had survived. And with survival came possibility. With
survival came enjoyment. She had worked so hard to stay alive and to create a world that she
would be proud to live in. Now, she would finally have the time to live in it. Now, she would
finally have time to celebrate, even as she mourned.

It seems that was all a waste now.

In those precious few days where she drank in the intoxicating fumes of her own
perceived success, Jessica unknowingly signed her own death certificate. Jessica saw that now as
clearly as she saw her own trembling hands. Up to this point, Jessica’s life had shown her that it
was best to be slow and deliberate in her actions. If a person acted too rashly, if they jumped
when it was best to sit back and watch, then they could make a mistake. And mistakes meant
death. At least, that is what Jessica had thought.

I guess in the end it is better to be quick, messy, and efficient.

It was a good lesson to learn, but Jessica knew that she had learned it far too late.

The contents of Jessica’s office, and so by extension her life, consisted mainly of filing
cabinets. While Jessica’s specific role in the Caesar’s regime had never been explicitly stated, it
had eventually become her task to keep track of those that the Caesar wished to be tracked. Each
filing cabinet in Jessica’s office contained folders, and those folders contained the lives of the
people that the Caesar thought of as enemies. Some of the files in those cabinets consisted of just
a page, those were the people whose slights or annoyances the Caesar had forgotten soon after
they were made. Those were the people who spent their lives in peace, not knowing that the most
powerful man in the world had considered them an enemy for a moment.

Or, Jessica admitted, it meant that they were dead, and so there was nothing else to add.

Never, in her nine years in the inner circle, did Jessica think about her role in the deaths
of these or any other people who came afoul of the Caesar. It was not her job to think about such
things, and things that were not her job she did not think about.

With her hand hovering above the final documents she would set her signature to, she
wondered for the first time if her name was not in someone else’s filing cabinet, maybe in the
very same building where she sat now. There had always been factions and divides among the
adherents to the Caesar, and bloodshed was common and even encouraged, but Jessica had
always made sure to stand apart from that. Well, mostly anyway. If Jessica was being completely
honest, and as she would be dead soon she knew that there was no better time to be, there was
one death she felt responsible for. In her accounting it was a death that could not be avoided.

Not if I was to live the life I wanted. The life I deserved.

Angelo had been a friend from birth, and for years had been Jessica’s companion in all
things. Yet, there would only ever be space enough for one of them in the inner circle of the
Caesar. If Jessica did not act then Angelo surely would have, Or if not him then his family. And
so Jessica planned. Jessica waited. Jessica acted. She ensured that she was the one to survive.

In this world, with these people, there was only ever space for one. That was no secret.
We both knew it. I won’t apologize for playing the game better than him.

To accomplish her goal Jessica did what was most simple, lie. She poisoned the Caesar
against Angelo. Jessica knew that her lies would lead to the shallow grave that her friend now
occupied. She knew what the result of her actions would be.

Never once did she hesitate in them.

For the first time in years, as she waited for her own death, Jessica thought of Angelo as a
person. Over the previous nine years when she thought of him, something she rarely did, she
preferred to think of him as an obstacle that she had had to overcome. It made it easier that way,
and Jessica had never been in need of an additional challenge. Now, as she thought of him as a
person, a question that Jessica had never entertained before appeared, Why did I let Angelo’s
family live? It was clear to Jessica now that she could have acted, could have taken down the
family one member by one member, could have worked to consolidate her power and authority.
In all that time though, she did nothing. As she stared at the documents in front of her, a pen held
loosely in her shaking hand, she could not say why.

And who knew the matriarch of Angelo’s family would become the Caesar? Who knew
that their memories were long, and their vengeance swift? If only there was more time, I could
change things. I would change things.

Jessica knew though, that there was no time left for her.

With a flourish Jessica signed the last of her documents, knowing that a strong signature
left a strong impression. As if being crashed into by a wave Jessica remembered that it was
Angelo who had told her that. How funny, I thought I had come up with it. It was simply another
shock on a day that had proven to be full of them. Capping her pen Jessica turned and looked at
the clock on the wall behind her and then out the window. With something close to a laugh she
realized that only a handful of minutes had passed since the news of her death had been
announced. So much had happened for her, and the world had barely spun.

I guess I could have run.

The thought surprised Jessica, not that it had taken so long for her to have it, but that she
had had it at all. Such a thought verged on treason, and for all of Jessica’s misdeeds and failings,
she had never been treasonous. Her loyalty to the Caesar had been absolute and unquestioned.
That would not change now.

It was then that Jessica heard footsteps. They were slow and deliberate, as if they were in
no rush to be done with the task ahead of them. And perhaps they aren’t. Officially I’m already
dead. Why rush the real thing? Jessica was sure that this discrepancy in timing would be worked
out nicely by the new Caesar and her adherents so that the official record of these actions would
read without confusion. That used to be Angelo’s job. Internal Consistency. It was another thing
she had not thought of in nine years. Now that she had, she found it all rather amusing. Maybe
the new Caesar thought to send me out with a joke. She thought Angelo would have found this
amusing too, and to her own surprise, that was something Jessica appreciated.

I guess I never was rid of you old friend. We’ll talk soon. Compare notes.

As the footsteps grew louder Jessica realized what was making her hands tremble. It was
not fear, nor was it rage or embarrassment. It was regret.

Yes, that is it, regret. There is so much work to be done. So many enemies of the Caesar
who still walk the earth alive and well. It does not seem right that the Caesar, my Caesar, could
be dead while his enemies are not. Well, I guess you can’t control everything.
The door to Jessica’s office opened.

And Jessica smiled.